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June 11, 2010

The Annual

So this has been a rough week.
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To say the least it's been a terrible week actually
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I have been at the doctor's office 4 out of the last 6 days. Not exactly how I would love to spend my money or time but it was not a matter of choice
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They are still not quite sure what is wrong but that is for another day. I have spent most of the week on the couch trying to pretend I am doing fine.
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Except yesterday...
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Yesterday was my "annual" doctor appointment. Again, not my joy, but it was PAST time to go.
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I made my appointment almost 2 months ago so there was no way I was canceling no matter how bad I felt.
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I got to the doctor's office at about 9:25 for my 9:30 appointment. I checked in and sat down to be called. I flipped through magazines and ripped out coupons while all the other patients around me eyed what I was doing. I am CERTAIN they were simply thinking how smart I was to be finding coupons in the waiting room, not that I am a crazy coupon theif.
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At 9:50 my name was finally called. Sheesh...I could have taken a nap
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As we walked to my room we stopped by the scale. NOT my favorite part of ANY day
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Then we went to my room and I was given a beautiful one size fits all FLORAL GOWN. It was 100% cotton, worn by 10,000 before me and just as gorgeous as it sounds
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The nurse left and gave me "gown" instructions. She left and I began to change
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Then the discomfort started. Undressing in a doctors office down to...well nothing... is not my joy. After I put the gown on, I realized something horrid.
I HAD FORGOTTEN TO SHAVE MY LEGS
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I have been sick and on pain meds all week and it completely slipped my mind...until THAT moment.
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I was horrified! Not only was I about to be in the most uncomfy situation in just a few moments, but my legs assured any onlooker that I am indeed a MAMMAL.
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I was trapped. I couldn't do a thing about it. Or could I...
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15 minutes later the doctor arrived (apparently it takes people 15 mins to put this fabulous gown on sometimes sheesh). He and I chatted for a minute and then he called in his assistant for the BIG MOMENT.
He extended the stirrups (joy) and as he reached for my leg to assist me in putting it in the stirrup, I lurched forward and plunged it in myself.
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Even with gloves on, my legs were NOT to be touched. He did his thing and then I quickly folded myself into a pretzel on the table so my hairy beasts were tucked under my lovely gown.
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It was over.
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Thank GOODNESS
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The nice part was that he and his assitant both pretended not to notice that my legs were a few days away from braids.
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I came home and hopped in the shower to deal with my problem only to realize my razor was BEYOND dull.
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Naturally
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Sometimes....I'd have to say I DON'T have the greatest of luck
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Hope your week is going a lil better. Mine HAS to lookin up ;) 
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7 comments:

Kristin Bishop said...

...a few days away from braids....

oh my gosh. I am laughing so hard right now....

michelle said...

Hope you feel better! Oh and also that you found a coupon for razors-hee hee!

Leah said...

Sorry it has been such a rough week. That is NEVER fun. Sorry we don't live closer to help more. you were in my thoughts all week. I hope this next one is much much better. loves xoxo

michelle said...

Hope you are feeling better. I saw this and thought of your felt food.
http://jessicapeck.blogspot.com/2010/05/thank-you-plus-free-pattern.html

Laura said...

I have so been there before. It was actually one of my appointment this winter while I was pregnant with Bryce. I like to think with all those doctor go through hairy legs probably aren't that bad.

Amme said...

Oh man... I am sorry you had a bad experience. Hope you are feeling better.

Amanda said...

The most ironic part of the story is the fact that I have no less than 30 brand new razors in my food storage.

Thanks for all your funny/sympathetic comments ladies hehe! Love you all!